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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28345518">babylon</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/alrightberries/pseuds/alrightberries'>alrightberries</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Drinking and Smoking, F/M, Fluff, Gen, Kidnapping, M/M, Mentions of Blood, Mentions of Death, Profanity, Prostitution, Sexual Themes, Slavery, Violence, anxiety/panic attacks, mentions of gore, mentions of trauma, slowburn, the end game is levi and reader but there's some unrequited erwin x reader in there</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 20:13:01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>11,916</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28345518</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/alrightberries/pseuds/alrightberries</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Levi, Isabel, and Farlan are sent on a mission to murder Erwin Smith and Lieutenant Y/N to secure their citizenship to Wall Sina. The only complication? They didn’t know that you were definitely aware of their plans.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Erwin Smith &amp; Reader, Erwin Smith/Reader, Erwin/Reader, Levi &amp; Reader, Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin) &amp; Reader, Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin) &amp; You, Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin)/Reader, Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin)/You, Levi/Reader</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>114</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>cross posted from my tumblr, @alrightberries</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Adrenaline coursed through your body.</p>
<p>Eyes wide and ears ringing, heart thumping loudly in your chest, you kept your eyes on the prize. Hood drawn over your head, brown jacket proudly bearing the insignia of the Wings of Freedom, your emerald green cape fluttered behind you as your ODM gear’s hooks attached and detached themselves from building to building. </p>
<p>The Underground District.</p>
<p>The district where you were born and raised, survived and escaped. It bore witness to many painful memories you tried to outrun and leave behind but somehow always managed to claw you back. The mere fact that you were here again was proof of it.</p>
<p>Eerily, everything was still the exact same way you’d remembered them to be more than five years ago when you were given the opportunity to live above ground and promised yourself to never look back.</p>
<p>The buildings hadn’t changed at all. Still gray and depressing, cracks forming as time passed by and no effort was made to repair them. The lamp posts that were constantly lit continued to illuminate the sunless city, the only source of light. Drunkards and whores still roamed the streets, unsupervised children mingling and smoking, yelling and screaming, stealing and fighting.</p>
<p>And, oddly, no matter how filthy and poorly managed the Underground District was, no matter how many nights you spent lying awake in your bed in the barracks- succumbing to the paranoia of being killed in your sleep- you couldn’t deny the tiny twinge of familiarity you felt in your heart the more you stared at the drab buildings and high ceilings.</p>
<p>You couldn’t deny that this rundown district was your home.</p>
<p>And it <em>disgusted</em> you.</p>
<p>Because you knew that even though you lived almost your entire life in the Underground District, it was never a place you could call home. </p>
<p>Though you spent countless hours telling yourself that you were better than this— better than the likes of <em>them</em>— you knew that despite wearing the insignia of the Wings of Freedom, despite years of character development and change, deep down you were still one of <em>them</em>.</p>
<p>A dirty, murderous criminal.</p>
<p>Memories filled your mind of your time spent in the Underground District.</p>
<p>Gang shootouts. Prostitutes and pimps. Perverts and abusers. Thieves and kidnappers. Mysterious disappearances and unexplained deaths. The promise of love. The pain of loss. The joy of self-redemption. </p>
<p>Only to have everything taken away in one fell swoop when you foolishly let your guard down. And, briefly, you knew if you closed your eyes, you would be brought back to that fateful night.</p>
<p>The night that changed it all.</p>
<p>The whirring sound of ODM wires being launched ahead snapped you out of your inner turmoil and back to the present. You mentally chastised yourself for getting caught up in your thoughts so easily.</p>
<p>Your eyes locked onto your three targets, the two men and lone woman you were instructed to capture alive meters ahead of your squadron. They swung through the air using illegally traded ODM gear, undoubtedly bought (or stolen) from the blackmarket.</p>
<p>The sight of the three-way intersection you purposely herded them to appeared in front of you. As planned, the criminals you gave chase used it to split up with one continuing forward, one escaping to the left, and one escaping to the right.</p>
<p>“Follow them. You are authorized to injure but not disable. Capture them in one piece.” Barked your order. “Once you do, rendezvous at Location Beta. It looks like they’re playing hard to get.”</p>
<p>“And for god’s sake,” you added after a thought. “Bring them back <em>alive</em> this time.” </p>
<p>The soldiers who flew in front of you stiffly nodded. Replying with a quick <em>“Yes, Lieutenant.”</em> they dispersed and chased after their respective targets.</p>
<p>They weren’t actually going to be the captors— <em>no</em>, that would be too predictable. They were decoys meant to chase the targets to three specific locations where yourself, Mike, and Erwin would ambush and capture them.</p>
<p>As the soldiers disappeared into the intersection, you glanced behind you and gave Erwin and Mike a nod. “Plan Alpha is a go.”</p>
<p>The two men silently nodded back, the three of you diving closer to the ground and splitting up at the next coming intersection to head to your respective posts.</p>
<p>The streets and alleyways became nothing but a gray blur as you speedily passed by. Weaving through the hidden nooks and crannies, maneuvering through the narrow streets became second nature once again as muscle memory kicked in, leaping off walls and dodging crates and stalls so well.</p>
<p>These shortcuts were the same ones you found, mapped, and ingrained into your mind as a child, and for once in your life, you were thankful you knew how the Underground District worked; not just its map, but also its people.</p>
<p>A gut instinct, you could call it— something that you’d developed both in your life as a street thug and as a soldier— told you that you knew where one of the criminals would be. All three, if Mike and Erwin stuck to the plan.</p>
<p>Your steely eyes and sharp ears remained alert to any sudden movement, fingers tingling at the familiar rush of adrenaline. Heart thumping a little louder and lungs breathing a little faster. You continued to scan your surroundings, mind subconsciously paying more attention to the area above. </p>
<p>From your low vantage point near the ground, it would be easier to spot one of your targets. You knew they were likely maneuvering high above the buildings as a habit- one the people shared in the Underground where the higher they were, the more powerful they thought themselves to be.</p>
<p>Even you were not immune to these habits. When Erwin had approached you to lead and strategize the capture of three high rollers in the Underground’s black market, you used not the brilliant strategies of the Survey Corps, but the six step rule you used when ambushing and killing opposing gangs during your time in the district.</p>
<p>Right now, whizzing through the Underground’s familiar alleyways in search of your target, you weren’t thinking like a soldier. </p>
<p>You were thinking like a street thug.</p>
<p>
  <em>Step 1: Locate the target.</em>
</p>
<p>As if on cue, the faintest sound of whirring wires made itself known, your eyes spotting silver hooks that dug into the top of a building just up ahead. You mentally pat yourself on the back for predicting their movement.</p>
<p>The gas dispersing from your canister made a quiet hiss as you used more of it to maneuver faster, forward and upward from the narrow streets to the high balconies in an effort to meet your target before she realized she had been spotted.</p>
<p>
  <em>Step 2: Rough them up.</em>
</p>
<p>You got closer.</p>
<p>You twisted your body. Hands tightly clutching your ODM gear’s switches as your leg stretched out, your hood the only thing keeping your hair from flying about as you got into position, prepared to kick your opponent down.</p>
<p>As soon as the criminal rounded the corner, her eyes widened as her face unexpectedly made contact with the bottom of your boot. A loud crunch was heard, gasp escaping her lips and caught off guard from your sudden appearance and kick.</p>
<p>From the blood running down her nostrils and onto her lips, you undoubtedly knew that the crunching you heard was the sound of you breaking her nose.</p>
<p>
  <em>Step 3: Disorient. Take away their weapons.</em>
</p>
<p>Her surprise only showed on her face for a split second as she fell, face bloody and bruised, body still unbalanced and reeling at the events that occurred. A moment passed before she once again gathered her composure, shooting her grappling hooks to nearby buildings to prevent her fall. </p>
<p>But just as you predicted her location, you predicted her next move.</p>
<p>You knew this was exactly what she was going to do next, time was of the essence. So you drew out your blades, moving closer to where here grappling hooks were embedded into the wall. Silver gleamed against the dimly lit alleyway as you swiftly severed both her wires, watching as she came crashing down to the dull and empty streets below.</p>
<p>For a brief moment, the criminal was dazed— disoriented as soon as she made impact with the cold hard ground, clearly not used to being caught and cornered so easily. </p>
<p>You knew that feeling all too well.</p>
<p>
  <em>Step 4: Let them run away. Give them a false sense of security.</em>
</p>
<p>You slowed down in your pursuit, hiding behind a balcony and watching as she stumbled on her feet as she stood up. Her hands desperately pressed and clicked at the switches on her gear as she tried to launch nonexistent grappling hooks to a wall.</p>
<p>It was no use, that much you knew. You cut them clean off, and you saw her face dawn with the realization as she quietly cussed, letting go of the now useless handles.</p>
<p>The silence and stillness that came after bothered her, head nervously snapping in all directions in search of your hooded form, only to find nothing but an eerily desolate street. As soon as she thought the coast was clear, she shook off her heavy gear and ran.</p>
<p>
  <em>Step 5: Ambush the target once their guard is down.</em>
</p>
<p>You waited patiently, three seconds to give her a head start, to be exact.</p>
<p>Once you deemed the moment to be right, you shot your hooks onto the building in front of you, launching yourself into the air and once again making yourself known to your target. </p>
<p>At the sound of metal digging into concrete, the thug briefly glimpsed in your direction, fear settling into her features as she saw you chase after her once again.</p>
<p>“Leave me alone!” She yelled, this time running faster.</p>
<p>As much as you’d like to leisurely swoop in and take her to your squadron’s designated meetup point, that would take too much time— you didn’t doubt she would resist and struggle out of your hold, probably make you drop her and have you chase her a few times.</p>
<p>But you disliked the idea of staying in the Underground for much longer than you had to. Knocking her out cold seemed to be the fastest and easiest way to take her without having to deal with a struggle.</p>
<p>
  <em>Step 6: And finally, go in for the kill.</em>
</p>
<p>Blades still drawn, hood still up, and cape still whipping in the wind, your surroundings became nothing but a blur once more as you gained speed and caught up to the criminal, releasing your gear’s hooks from the gray walls they were attached to as you made a calculated fall.</p>
<p>The ODM gear’s gas gave you the momentum you needed as you gracefully skid through the air, just a few feet behind her, before twisting your body to land a strong kick to the back of her head. </p>
<p>She fell on her face with a loud thud while you swiftly landed on your feet. Her head weakly lifted itself from the ground, eyes making contact with the brown of your boots.</p>
<p>For a few seconds, you silently watched as she shakily lifted herself up on bruised arms- face scratched up, nose still dripping out blood, teeth gritted, eyebrows creased in pain. She tried to crawl away in a last ditch attempt to escape.</p>
<p>But you knew that from her injuries, she would likely pass out soon. So you stood still, arms crossed, boredly watching her crawl a few feet away from you before her body gave in to her exhaustion, finally collapsing onto the gravel floor. </p>
<p>You walked closer, shoes crunching the tiny rocks that littered the street with every step. Your foot gently nudged her arm, and the lack of movement gave you the confirmation you needed that she was indeed unconscious. Your hands disappeared into your pockets momentarily as you pulled out a pair of handcuffs, the metal clinking softly as you knelt down next to your target, arranging her arms behind her back before cuffing them.</p>
<p>Sure, it was more work to carry her while she was unconscious, but it involved less unnecessary struggles and pursuits. You were satisfied with that.</p>
<p>As you lifted her onto your shoulders, your mind briefly wandered to Erwin and Mike, wondering if your strategy proved to be helpful in their pursuit of their own targets. </p>
<p>Your ODM gear’s grappling hooks once again attached themselves to the walls of tall buildings, shooting both you and your unconscious opponent through the air.</p>
<p>Erwin most likely didn’t stick to the plan.</p>
<p>He trusted you and your instincts, that much you knew. He wouldn’t have put you in charge of his squadron nor this mission if he hadn’t. But despite the man’s sharp mind and deep trust in your capabilities, he had a bad habit of doing things <em>his</em> way— the Survey Corps way.</p>
<p>A few moments of silence passed as you pondered your thoughts, and the criminal slung over your shoulders twitched slightly. You briefly glanced at her, her eyes gritting in pain as they slowly opened, taking in her surroundings. </p>
<p>
  <em>Great, here we go.</em>
</p>
<p>Your grip on her tightened as she began to struggle in her restraints, legs flailing and kicking as she tried to pry your hands off her but you paid it no mind. It was more an inconvenience than anything. Not even your balance or maneuvering was affected.</p>
<p>“I highly suggest you don’t do that,” you spoke, eyes not sparing her a second glance as you continued your way forward. “In case you haven’t noticed, we’re pretty high up, kid. You’re injured and you don’t have your gear.”</p>
<p>“No thanks to you, piece of crap.” She gritted back, and you pretended not to hear her snide remark, continuing on to your point.</p>
<p>“It would be awfully unfortunate if somehow, while you struggled, I were to <em>accidentally</em> drop you a couple hundred feet below. I don’t think you’d survive that. Do you?”</p>
<p>The silence that followed told you that she was contemplating your words, and the way her head shifted as she glanced around meant she was trying to see if you were telling the truth.</p>
<p>She stopped resisting but your strong grip remained, and you felt her head hang in defeat.</p>
<p>“Big bro’s going to kill you.” She murmured quietly, albeit her words were laced with anger and spite.</p>
<p>“Your big bro’s going to get arrested, just like you. Now shut it.”</p>
<p>She growled, apparently triggered by your words as she once again began to struggle in your hold (still in vain, might you add. Her struggles still had no affect on you nor your movements.)</p>
<p>A small angry scream tore its way out of her throat, and if it weren’t for the colorful insults decorated with choice words about your appearance and your work force spewing out of her mouth, you might have even mistaken her as a toddler throwing a tantrum. Though you paid her no mind, it didn’t get any less annoying the further you travelled.</p>
<p>Truth be told, you had half a mind to do good on your word and drop her just so you could stop listening to her high pitched whining. You’re sure Erwin would understand why you decided to kill her despite his clear order to capture the criminals alive. He’d never admit it, but from his actions, you knew the man held a soft spot for you. </p>
<p>You didn’t know why you were specifically told not to disable the targets- you’d done it countless times before. But just like Erwin trusted your instincts, you trusted his. </p>
<p>Despite not telling you, you knew the man had a plan. And you didn’t want to be the one to ruin it just because you couldn’t deal with a teenage girl’s temper tantrum.</p>
<p>Fortunately, for both her and for you, you didn’t have to wait long to make a decision.</p>
<p>The alleyway where you agreed to rendezvous with your squadron came into view, and you slowly started descending from your place high above. Once you deemed you were at a reasonable height, you threw her— rather harshly, at that— onto the ground, pretending not to hear her complaints as you swiftly landed next to her.</p>
<p>“Ouch— hey, watch it!” She yelled.</p>
<p>You rolled your eyes but stayed quiet because <em>god</em> you were so done with her whining. Her kicking and yelling didn’t stop as you pulled her up by her shirt, dragging her forward as she tried to resist and— <em>fucking</em> <em>hell</em> she was getting on your nerves. Were all the new Underground kids this annoying? You hoped the fuck not.</p>
<p>Dragging her into the alleyway and still ignoring her insults and threats, you caught sight of two of your fellow soldiers restraining a blonde man— the target assigned to Mike, the man in question not too far from his prisoner.</p>
<p>It seems like the plan worked flawlessly for him as well.</p>
<p>Mike raised his eyebrow at the sight of your prisoner. “I thought you said not to disable, Lieutenant?”</p>
<p>“Erwin <em>told</em> me to say that.” You corrected, finally pulling your hood down and sheathing your blades. “We’re authorized to injure but not disable. And as you can tell, this one’s injured, not disabled. I did good on my word.”</p>
<p>“He’s going to give you hell.” Came his retort.</p>
<p>“He won’t. Guy’s too nice to me, you know that.”</p>
<p>Mike observed the restrained girl you held, this time taking note of her misaligned nose and the dried blood on her face. </p>
<p>“The hell did you do?” He chuckled.</p>
<p>“Nothing too bad. Just broke her nose, probably gave her a concussion.”</p>
<p>At your reply, the prisoner Mike had captured quickly snapped his head to his comrade.</p>
<p>“Isabel, are you okay?” The blonde man asked. Though he was handcuffed and restrained in the grips of your fellow soldiers, he wasn’t making a fuss. Angry at you and Mike, concerned for— Isabel, was it?— but not making a fuss.</p>
<p>Why couldn’t you have caught <em>that</em> one instead.</p>
<p>“She’s okay enough to be a pain in the ass, that’s for sure.” You replied in her stead, annoyed but not deeply affected by her incessant screaming and threats.</p>
<p>“Farlan, where’s Big Bro? Is he okay?” Isabel yelled, ignoring you.</p>
<p>However, before Farlan could reply, the unmistakable sound of metal clashing against metal inched closer to your rendezvous point. You sighed in irritation.</p>
<p><em>I fucking knew it,</em> you thought. <em>Blondie can never stick to the goddamn plan.</em></p>
<p>You watched with poorly concealed amusement as two men— Erwin and a short, black haired man donning an undercut, his target no doubt— stumbled into the alleyway.</p>
<p>Your hands pulled Isabel back and threw her onto her knees as she tried to make a move to help her “Big Bro,” and from the corner of your eye you saw Mike do the same to Farlan when he made his move as well.</p>
<p>The soldiers standing next to you tried to intervene and help Erwin, but you held your arm out to stop them before they could. “Let Erwin deal with this. He got himself into this mess, he can get himself out of it.”</p>
<p>Of course, you wouldn’t stop them if you knew Erwin was in any <em>real</em> danger— heck, you’d probably be the first one on your feet if that were the case. But he was fighting with two steel blades sharp enough to slice a titan like a warm knife would with butter, and short-stack held a knife. Not even a <em>good</em> one, might you add.</p>
<p>Yet despite the clear advantage, you remained on guard with your hands already gripping the handles of your blades. You could tell Erwin was struggling to hold his own against his opponent.</p>
<p>If you weren’t so eager to get out of the Underground District as soon as possible, you might have actually considered sitting back and watching your mighty comrade get pummeled to the ground by a pipsqueak. Call it karma, if you will.</p>
<p>Unfortunately, you didn’t have the time nor the patience to stay there any longer than you had to.</p>
<p>“Oi, Erwin.” You called out. “Are you going to end that fight soon or what?”</p>
<p>Both men snapped their heads to the direction of your voice. </p>
<p>For a brief moment, you swore Erwin’s blue eyes momentarily softened when he saw you were safe, just like you swore they always did when you returned from battle. But you shook that thought out of your head because as soon as the soft gaze came, it was gone. </p>
<p>The emotions he’d displayed quickly shifted into content as he caught sight of the two other criminals knelt down on the ground in front of his soldiers, but the short man he was fighting looked angered— fueled even more to fight off the soldier that currently stalled him, and something told you the fight was going to get far too bloody far too soon.</p>
<p>It was time to step in.</p>
<p>“Hey, shorty.” Came your greeting, and the man in question snapped his eyes to your own. Angry. He looked <em>very</em> angry.</p>
<p>But you didn’t care.</p>
<p>“Might I <em>suggest</em> that you don’t stab my fellow soldier over there. Look around you.”</p>
<p>The man did just as he was told and eyed his comrades, glance lingering just a little longer at the sight of Isabel bloody, bruised, and gearless before making eye contact with you once again. He knew it was you who did it, you were standing just behind her, and if looks could kill then there was no doubt in your mind that you would be long dead.</p>
<p>But you were unphased. That same dirty look had been thrown in your direction plenty of times. Though you had to admit his was the deadliest of all, you didn’t give a damn and instead impatiently raised your eyebrow at the man, waiting for his conclusion.</p>
<p>His eyes returned to Erwin’s after a few moments, still pondering. A beat passes, and you saw his grip loosen on the handle of the knife. The weapon fell to the ground with a soft clink. </p>
<p>“You’re quick at reading the situation.” Erwin spoke to the black haired man, but the man only returned his praise with silence and a steely glare.</p>
<p>You felt yourself release a breath you didn’t even know you were holding as you finally relaxed, hands releasing their hold on the handles of your blades as the short man raised his own in surrender. Erwin was quick to rid him of his ODM gear before Mike handcuffed him, throwing him to his knees on the ground. You and another soldier followed suit, dragging your prisoners next to the man and forcing them down to the ground. </p>
<p>The soldiers surrounded the three thugs, blades drawn and ready to strike. You kept your blades sheathed, however, but were still alert as you placed yourself next to Erwin and in front of the kneeling criminals. Mike stood behind them, both of you watching in bathed silence as Erwin began the interrogation.</p>
<p>“I’ll ask a few questions.” He started. He raised the gear he’d confiscated from the short man. “Where did you get this?”</p>
<p>Yet, you knew they wouldn’t reply. Not unless their was an imminent threat to their leader. They kept their mouths shut, heads bowed down and eyes focused on the ground in front of them.</p>
<p>Erwin ignored their lack of an answer.</p>
<p>“You’re quite skilled with ODM gear. Who taught you all that?” He tried once more, but their lips remained sealed, unmoving despite the tense atmosphere.</p>
<p>Your eyes followed him as he briskly walked up to the man he’d been fighting with not more than a few moments ago, before asking another question- this time directed at the kneeling man.</p>
<p>“You’re their leader, right? Were you trained in the military?”</p>
<p>His inquiries were once again met with silence. Mike made eye contact with you, and you already knew he was as done as you were with their lack of compliance. You nodded your head. </p>
<p>The two criminals watched in horror as their leader’s hair was grabbed, head throttling as it was pulled back before being harshly slammed onto the dirty puddle in front of him. Isabel and Farlan gasped, finally breaking their silence as they told Mike off.</p>
<p>The man struggled, head turning in the puddle as he struggled for air. His clean shirt- looking odd and out of place in the dirty Underground- grew muddy, as did his neatly styled hair and face. His gunmetal eyes briefly made contact with yours, and you returned his murderous glare with a steely gaze of your own before he broke eye contact with you, opting to instead direct his distaste at the blonde man who stood in front of him.</p>
<p>“I’ll ask one more time.” Erwin spoke. “Where did you learn to use the ODM gear?”</p>
<p>But his silence and murderous glare persisted, as did the glares his comrades were directing at Mike.</p>
<p>You were fucking done with this bullshit.</p>
<p>Farlan saw from the corner of his eye you, walking towards their leader. He knew that you were about to do to him what you had done to Isabel, possibly worse if the impatience displayed on your face was to be trusted.</p>
<p>“Not from anyone! We learnt it by ourselves.” He finally spoke, and he was momentarily relieved when you stopped beside the blonde soldier instead of continuing your way to beat up the short man.</p>
<p>“Self-taught, you say?” Erwin asked, eyes full of doubt. “I don’t buy it.”</p>
<p>“It’s just so we’re able to rise even a bit in this dirty, garbage place!” He yelled. “People who’re used to sunlight like you guys won’t understand.”</p>
<p>“That’s enough! Let Bro go!” Isabel interjected angrily, and the mere fact that she could still make demands at a time like this slightly amused you. Clearly, unlike her comrades, she didn’t have the faintest idea how to read the situation. “Don’t be cocky just because you’re soldiers!”</p>
<p>Erwin briefly glanced at you, silently asking if Farlan was lying. Your knowledge of the Underground and its people meant you knew best. Right now, your opinion on the matter weighed heavier than his own.</p>
<p>“He’s telling the truth.” You confirmed passively, and his eyes snapped back to the short man. The man’s face was still being held down to the puddle and his murderous glare never left his eyes.</p>
<p>“Pull him up.” You ordered Mike, and he complied. His hand stayed gripping the criminal’s hair.</p>
<p>The short man didn’t cough, didn’t sputter as he could finally breathe without having dirty puddle water make their way into his lungs. Water dripped down his face, scratches lining his once clear cheeks from how hard Mike had throttled him.</p>
<p>Erwin knelt down in front of the man, his white pants staining brown as they met with the puddle’s water. “My name is Erwin Smith. And yours is?” </p>
<p>“Go fuck yourself.” The black haired man bit back.</p>
<p>You saw Mike irritatedly let go of the short man’s hair, hands quickly reaching for his blades as he swung them upwards with the intent to beat the man to compliance. </p>
<p>But you were faster.</p>
<p>Instead of meeting and severing the man’s shoulders, his blades clashed with your own. The colliding metals gleamed against the light, bewildered eyes meeting your calm yet angered ones. Though he had been in the Survey Corps longer than you had, there was no denying that you were still stronger than he.</p>
<p>“Lieutenant, what the <em>hell</em> are you-” “Don’t waste your blades on a criminal like him.” You cut him off. “Save your gear for real threats and enemies.”</p>
<p>Mike clicked his tongue, but he didn’t let up. His blades continued to push against your own.</p>
<p>“Stand down. That’s an order.” You spoke. “I am in charge of this mission. In this instance, I am your superior. And I <em>order</em> you to stand down.”</p>
<p>He glared at you. Mike’s frustration with the criminals was understandable- you yourself were ready to tear shorty a new one- but you couldn’t risk it. The Survey Corps’ image was bad enough as is. Bad image meant bad funds. Bad funds meant no expeditions.</p>
<p>But he didn’t stop.</p>
<p>“Mike, <em>think</em>. You’re going against a direct order. You’re about to <em>mutilate</em> an unarmed civillian, one that’s already handcuffed and kneeling in surrender.” You started. “Is this really how you want it to go?” </p>
<p>A few tense seconds pass, and Mike’s clouded judgement finally eased as he realizes the points you made.</p>
<p>He stands down, though his blades remain at his sides. You kept yours unsheathed as well, standing close to the criminal to guard him, prepared for any possibility of another poor decision.</p>
<p>Erwin ignored your little fiasco with Mike, focusing instead on the man knelt down in front of him.</p>
<p>“What’s your name?” He repeated his question once more.</p>
<p>“Levi.” The man finally replied.</p>
<p>You twitched, fists holding on a little tighter to the handle of your blades at the mention of the name. It brought back memories of <em>that</em> night, the night you lost it all. If anyone had noticed your subtle reaction, no one dared point it out. </p>
<p>“Levi.” Erwin parotted. “Why don’t we make a deal?”</p>
<p>“A deal?”</p>
<p>“I will let your crimes go unpunished. In return, lend me your strength. Join the Survey Corps.”</p>
<p>
  <em>And there it was.</em>
</p>
<p>You sighed deeply, eyes closing as irritation made its way to your mind as Erwin’s words sunk in. No wonder he wanted to personally capture the three thugs instead of assisting the Military Police like usual. He wanted to fucking <em>recruit</em> them. How did you not see this coming? Five years ago, this same exact offer was extended to <em>you.</em></p>
<p>And though you were glad you made the choice you did, your experiences above ground and outside the walls were something you wouldn’t wish unto any unwilling soul.</p>
<p>The three criminals were taken aback, clearly not expecting the proposition.</p>
<p>Levi glared. “And if I refuse?”</p>
<p>“The Military Police will have you.” Erwin replied easily, quickly standing up. “Considering all of your crimes, you and your friends won’t be treated very nicely. Choose whichever you prefer.”</p>
<p>Levi ponders Erwin’s words, eyes briefly glimpsing at his friends before he finally replied. “Fine.”</p>
<p>He straightened his back, spitting out what you could only assume was dirty puddle water as he briefly flung his head to the side, trying to get the same liquid out of his hair. His glare reflected the anger he felt. Though he was still kneeling down, handcuffed and bruised, the sight of his murderous gaze- somehow stronger than the last- caused an intimidating aura to surround him, one beckoning not to be missed with. </p>
<p>The aura of a true Underground thug who had seen too much shit in his lifetime.</p>
<p>“I’ll join the Survey Corps.” He gritted. Erwin smiled sardonically.</p>
<p>“Excellent.” He turned his gaze to you. “Lieutenant, did you bring the stairway access papers I asked you to prepare?”</p>
<p>“Yeah,” you replied, sheathing your blades once again when you deemed there was no longer a threat. You pulled out the papers from one of the pockets provided by the leather straps around your thighs, shoving them to the blonde man’s hands. “Here.” </p>
<p>Though Erwin had noticed your snarky tone and the way you rudely shoved the papers to his hands, he decided not to comment.</p>
<p>Instead, he gingerly looked over the papers one by one, even though he knew he really had no need to. Your paperwork was always flawless despite you airing your distaste for it numerous times, and he concluded that the same applied to the papers he held in his hands as he got to the last page.</p>
<p>“Mike, kindly escort our new cadets to the 11th Stairway, the carriage should be waiting above ground. We haven’t a moment to lose.” The man in question nodded, pulling the prisoners off their feet with the help of other soldiers and forcing them to walk.</p>
<p>“Lieutenant,” Erwin called out before you could follow suit. “A word.”</p>
<p>You nodded stiffly, one hand your hip, firmly stood in your spot as he walked closer. Though he had a soft spot for you, blatant disrespect to a superior officer was unacceptable. You were fully prepared to get reprimanded.</p>
<p>“Listen, Erwin—“ “I apologize for deceiving you.”</p>
<p>You blinked in surprise, not expecting his words, but stayed silent. Erwin took this as his cue to walk, and you followed beside him. The both of you trailed behind the soldiers and criminals, close enough to keep a keen eye on them but far enough that your conversation would not be heard.</p>
<p>“You could’ve just told me.” You muttered.</p>
<p>“Would you have agreed knowing these criminals will suffer the same fate you did?”</p>
<p>You wanted to reply <em>yes</em>, that despite your past, you could still be objective with your decisions. But this was Erwin. His instincts may not have been as accurate as yours, but he knew you more than anyone else.</p>
<p>He would see through your lies.</p>
<p>“No.” You finally answered. And damn it, even when he was deceiving you, he still had a good reason. It pissed you off so much. “You and I both know you didn’t call me here just to apologize. What do you really want?”</p>
<p>He silently chuckled. You knew him almost as much as he knew you.</p>
<p>“A good observation. I expected no less.” </p>
<p>“Just spit it out, blondie.”</p>
<p>“The criminals we’ve captured.” He began. “They were sent to kill us.”</p>
<p>You groaned because, <em>of course</em>. Of fucking course they were.</p>
<p>“And we captured them… why?”</p>
<p>Erwin gave you a look. You knew that look. That was his scheming look.</p>
<p>“The budget cuts?” You questioned, but you already knew the answer. His nod confirmed your theory. “Keen as always, Lieutenant.”</p>
<p>You clicked your tongue in annoyance. “Why does there always have to be an asterisk with you? Why can’t you ever form a plan without an ulterior motive.”</p>
<p>Erwin ignored your remark. “When we get back to the base, I want you to do three things.” He instructed.</p>
<p>“First, I want you to help me fight tooth and nail to get the commander’s approval to integrate the criminals into our work force.”</p>
<p>You nodded. </p>
<p>“Second, I want you to keep watch over our double-crossing cadets.”</p>
<p>You turned your head to look at him, raising your eyebrow. “You want me to haggle with the commander to get them on my team?”</p>
<p>“Precisely.”</p>
<p>Your eyes focused back ahead of you. “You going to tell me the reason why you want me to train our would-be assassins? Or are you going to keep me guessing.”</p>
<p>A moment passes, but Erwin stayed silent. You were about to open your mouth to ask once more before he replied. </p>
<p>“They’re after the documents.”</p>
<p>You stiffened, almost freezing in your spot but quickly gathering your composure as you continued to walk alongside the tall man. No one knew you and Erwin had those documents. No one aside from you both even knew they <em>existed</em>. No one except…</p>
<p>“Lord Lobov ordered the hit, didn’t he?”</p>
<p>Erwin hummed in confirmation.</p>
<p>“And I assume his <em>generous</em> offer to fund the Survey Corps’ next expedition was part of the bargain?”</p>
<p>“Correct again. Your instincts serve you well.”</p>
<p>“Don’t butter me up.” You gritted. “You literally just ordered me to teach three people, out for our blood, how to fight.”</p>
<p>But despite your annoyance, you knew his demands were justified. By being in charge of them, you would be able to keep tabs on them at all times, especially considering the Underground District’s thugs had a knack for killing people in their sleep. </p>
<p>“What’s the last request?” You asked, remembering how he said he had three tasks for you to accomplish. The 11th Stairway was nearing, sunlight sparingly spread where it could reach.</p>
<p>“I want you to keep the information I’ve divulged a secret.” He answered. “Best not let the higherups— or <em>anyone</em>, for that matter— know we’ve knowingly invited assassins into our group.”</p>
<p>You nodded your head once again. “Lobov still pissed at me for getting his brother arrested?”</p>
<p>This time, Erwin let out a laugh, clearly amused at the nobleman’s persistent distaste for you. He threw a smile in your direction. “One can only assume.”</p>
<p>You returned his smile, albeit smaller and briefer. A comfortable silence loomed over you both as you walked closer to the gate, hands brushing occasionally from how close you were.</p>
<p>“Why did you stop the soldiers when they tried to intervene?” He asked suddenly.</p>
<p>“You didn’t stick to the plan.” You scoffed. “Karma’s a bitch.”</p>
<p>Erwin nodded, the small smile returning to his face. He was used to your little antics and unique ways of teasing, and even though this time it was in the form of watching him struggle at knife point, he couldn’t bring himself to be angry or reprimand you.</p>
<p>He figured he did deserve a little karma.</p>
<p>The guards at the stairway came into view, and you watched with judgemental eyes as one of the soldiers handed them your access papers. The guard spoke, saying something in rushed words before finally shutting up when he was handed a bag of coins.</p>
<p>
  <em>Some things never change.</em>
</p>
<p>“Race you back to the base.” You sarcastically jested, making no move to speed up as you ascended up the stairs with Erwin trailing closely behind.</p>
<p>Erwin watched your figure walk up the stairs, the relief he tried to conceal when he found out you were safe finally dawning in his eyes. The light framed your body well, and though your clothes were dirty and ruffled from the mission, you still looked as if you were glowing.</p>
<p>His heart slowly beat inside his chest, affection blossoming at the sight in front of him. But he couldn’t. He wouldn’t.</p>
<p>He dared not act on his feelings. Your plate was full enough already, and the world you were living in was nothing but a shit show of death and loss. And yet, briefly, he lets himself entertain the possibility of you. Courting you. Taking you to dinner. Sitting down on the grass with you and feeling the warm breeze in a titan-free world.</p>
<p>But for now, he keeps those thoughts stored under lock and key. Because he knew.</p>
<p>He knew your heart already belonged to another man. A man that was long dead, he digressed, but he knew where your loyalties lied.</p>
<p>Perhaps it was selfish of him. Selfish of him to protest the commander’s decision to kill you all those years ago once you served your purpose, selfish of him to push the commander to agree in integrating you to the Survey Corps, selfish of him to take you into his squadron and personally train you until you were strong enough to lead a team of your own.</p>
<p>Maybe it was also selfish of him to think anything of the drunken kiss you’d once shared as you shed out rare tears, eyes finally showing the vulnerability you so desperately tried to hide as you mourned the loss of your late lover on the anniversary of his death. </p>
<p>He knew you harbored no feelings for him; that throughout the drunken kiss, you weren’t thinking of Erwin. You were thinking of <em>him, </em>the man you truly loved. Erwin was simply convenient. </p>
<p>He knew the small romantic moment you shared was nothing but the result of two vulnerable people tired of acting strong, finally succumbing to their loneliness, pain, and selfish desires.</p>
<p>Still, was it so selfish for a man to silently hope for a future with the person he loved? </p>
<p>Was it so selfish for a man to love someone he knew would never love him back?</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Burning.</p><p>Everything was burning.</p><p>Smoke filled your lungs with every breath you took and the heat made your skin tingle. Chest heaving, lips quivering, hands shaking. Your eyes were red and raw with tears as you ran through the hallways of the burning brothel.</p><p>“Achi! Are you there?” Your voice was hoarse from all your yelling, barely able to hold back your coughs as more smoke entered your lungs. “Achi, talk to me!”</p><p>Despite the screams you hear outside, everything inside was eerily quiet save for the crackling of fire and your own yelling. You would even describe the building as devoid of life if it weren’t for the smell of burning flesh and the flames that threatened to kiss your skin and burn you alive.</p><p>You couldn’t open any of the damn door knobs. The metal was glowing, far too hot to be held— your palms were red and blistered from prying your own door open when you escaped your quarters.</p><p>“Please, Achi, yell back!” </p><p>Another violent cough racks through your body, eyes twtiching from how bad the thick gray smoke stung. Behind you, you could hear the sound of wood collapsing followed by debris falling. Glowing embers scattered through the floor and you were barely able to veer away when a piece of the ceiling fell in front of your last exit.</p><p><em>Shit</em>. You were cornered. </p><p>Your breathing started speeding up. You clutched the wooden box tighter to your chest, briefly wondering why you chose to hyperventilate now of all times when the heat and density of the smoke felt like a noose around your neck. The panic you tried to keep at bay started sinking in when you stared at the world around you; engulfed in heat, surrounded by orange and yellow. But you weren’t going down without a fight. Your sister, Achi, still needed you. <em>He</em> still needed you. </p><p>
  <b>Heat. Orange. Yellow.</b>
</p><p>You forced your bare blistering feet to move forward. Your sister was trapped here somewhere too, you just knew it. The lack of screams coming from inside the building were a good thing. No screams meant no pain, and no pain meant no one was dying. Right?</p><p>
  <b>Heat. Orange. Yellow.</b>
</p><p>Your burnt hands shook as they protectively clutched the wooden box closer. Eyes rapidly darted around your surroundings and dread tingled at your spine when you realized that there was no way out, no way to save your sister without killing yourself in the process.</p><p>
  <b>Heat. Orange. Yellow.</b>
</p><p>The carbon dioxide was too much. That’s what you figured when your knees suddenly buckled and collapsed beneath you and your face made contact with the hardwood floor, breath knocking out of your lungs.</p><p>
  <b>Heat. Orange. Yellow.</b>
</p><p>You panicked when the wooden box skidded across the hall; being away from it scared you more than any burning building ever could. Gathering what was left of your strength, you weakly lifted yourself up on shaky elbows and started to crawl.</p><p>
  <b>Heat. Orange. Yellow.</b>
</p><p>Relief flooded your chest when you finally reached the box and collapsed to the floor. You rolled yourself to your side, spotting a trail of blood starting from where you fell and broke your nose, ending where you lie.</p><p>
  <b>Heat. Orange. Yellow.</b>
</p><p>Staring death in the face was easier now that you held the box containing all his letters. It brought you some semblance of peace in your final moments, and you protectively curled around it. The fire could consume you but not his memories.</p><p>
  <b>Heat. Orange. Yellow.</b>
</p><p>You wonder how <em>he</em> would react if he saw you like this. Maybe he’d call you pathetic. He warned you to be careful but you paid him no mind. Perhaps this was the price you had to pay.</p><p>
  <b>Heat. Orange. Yellow.</b>
</p><p>Your eyes were slowly shutting. The hazier your mind became, the more sure you were that this was how you died. You hoped that Achi wouldn’t share the same fate.</p><p>
  <b>Heat. Orange. Yellow.</b>
</p><p>Your head lulls to the side, lip quivering, eyes clenching shut, grip on the box firm as you accepted your fate.</p><p>
  <b>Heat. Orange. Yellow.</b>
</p><p><em>Please. Keep them safe,</em> you pleaded.</p><p>
  <b>Heat. Orange. Yellow.</b>
</p><p>Blackness dots your vision.</p><p>
  <b>Heat. Orange. Yellow.</b>
</p><p>
  <em>I’m sorry I couldn’t keep you safe.</em>
</p><p>
  <b>Heat. Orange. Yellow.</b>
</p><p>A whisper into the wind.</p><p>
  <b>Heat. Orange. Yellow.</b>
</p><p>
  <em>“I love you, Achi. I love you, Levi.”</em>
</p><p><b>Darkness</b>.</p><p>And suddenly, an echo.</p><p>
  <em>“Y/N. Wake up.”</em>
</p><p>Your eyes snapped open. Glassy eyes met gorgeous blue ones, and you realized with a loud, pained sob that you were safe and back in the Survey Corps. </p><p>A dream. It was all a dream.</p><p>Arms immediately wrapped around your companion, tackling him onto the bed as sobs continued to spew out of your lips. You buried your face into the crook of his neck as you heaved, fat tears rolling down your face and staining his shirt as you remembered it was no dream.</p><p>A memory. It was a memory.</p><p>You were 20 when the brothel burned down, turning your little sister into ashes with it. It’s been five years since then; yet it continues to haunt your daydreams and nightmares. Erwin sat up on the bed, quietly cooing for you to calm down as you sat heaving on his lap. Legs were on either side of his waist and your arms were looped around his nape. His hands made a move to pat your head, but the shadow they cast on the wall—</p><p>Shadow.</p><p>
  <em>Heat. Orange. Yellow.</em>
</p><p>“Get it away from me!” You yelled fearfully, flinching away from the oil lamp. Your head buried impossibly deeper to his firm chest, eyes shut as you looked away from the fire and cried. Nails painfully dug into the back of his neck but he couldn’t find it in himself to care. Not when you looked so small right now, so scared. Curled up into a little ball and shaking on his lap, and Erwin feels his heart clench painfully at the sight. </p><p>With downturned lips his hand shields your eyes from the warm glow of the light. The other one reaches out to extinguish the small flame, plummeting the room in the darkness of the night.</p><p>“It’s alright, Y/N.” You hear him whisper. “It’s gone now. The fire’s gone.”</p><p>You nod but the tears don’t stop falling. You refuse to open your eyes. And you continue to hyperventilate. You’d question why he was here, but the fact that his room was directly next to yours meant he probably heard your night terror screams once again and came to check on you.</p><p>“Nothing’s going to hurt you while I’m here, I promise.” He reassured, patting the small of your back. “Breathe, Y/N. Breathe.”</p><p>You try to do as you’re told, but the blonde man soon realizes that you weren’t in control. Not entirely, at least. But he’s comforted you through many sleepless, panic-filled nights, and he already knew what to do by heart.</p><p>“Follow my breathing, Y/N. Listen to the sound of my voice.”</p><p>His chest begins to slowly rise and fall underneath your cheek, breathing loud and voice authoritative yet gentle as he instructed you to <em>“inhale”</em> then <em>“exhale,”</em> soft praises littered in between. </p><p>Erwin had to admit that he was in no way good at emotions or comforting. Oftentimes he’d call HR and have them comfort the grieving soldiers and rage-filled families who came to visit office. Truthfully he wasn’t sure what to do when he first heard your night terror screams through his bedroom wall all those years ago. But as the screams carried on and he started checking in on you, only to find you shaking on the bed, sometimes in various degrees of what he thought were the last threads of your sanity, he took it upon himself to learn. To be patient. To be kind.</p><p>You were subconsciously following his lead, he notices. The more he did the breathing exercise he’d designed specifically for you, the less sniffles he heard and the steadier your breaths seemed to be. Strong arms were wrapped around your waist, and one of his hands reached up to brush away the hair that had clung onto your tear-stained face. You leaned in to his touch.</p><p>“Feeling better?” He asks after a moment, lightly pulling away to look at you. Your breathing was normal now and your shoulders were no longer shaking. Your arms and legs still clung onto him as if your life depended on it, face still nuzzled into his chest.</p><p>You nod limply in response.</p><p>He shifts underneath you, and you quickly tighten your hold on him in a panic.</p><p>“A-are you— are you leaving?” You stuttered rapidly.</p><p>“No, I’m trying to lie you down.”</p><p>“Will you stay with me?”</p><p>His breath hitches.</p><p>You feel his warm palm on your cheek, gently coaxing your red and teary eyes to look into his reassuring blue ones. A thumb wipes away at your tears and you close your eyes, leaning into his touch.</p><p>He sighs.</p><p>“If you want me to.” Came his gentle whisper, and you nod. </p><p>“I do.”</p><p>“Alright.”</p><p>Fingers gripped the underside of your thighs and you feel your entire body get lifted into the air. You clung to him tighter as your back touches the soft sheets of the bed, letting him settle you down and arrange your legs comfortably on the lumpy mattress. Your arms never unclasp from his neck and your face never leaves his chest, something Erwin noticed you took comfort in every time you were distressed.</p><p>Oh, what a sight you must’ve been to your oldest and most trusted friend. Lying on your side and clinging onto him like a wounded puppy asking its master to stay, your cheeks puffy and eyes swollen, trembling like a leaf. Erwin keeps one arm firmly grasped around your waist while the other one is under your head, bent at the elbow to play with your hair. You release a shaky breath and slowly relax in his hold, and he’s relieved when he feels your nuzzle closer.</p><p>“Did I wake you again?” You ask, and he shakes his head.</p><p>“You didn’t. I couldn’t sleep.”</p><p>You only nod, fully knowing he was lying. Your eyes closed and you sighed, forehead pressed into his muscular chest. Legs tangled with Erwin’s as your arms slipped away from his neck, trailing down to wrap around his waist as well.</p><p>“Was it the same nightmare?” He asks, and you nod once more.</p><p>“Did you escape this time?”</p><p>A pause. This time, you shake your head.</p><p>“Would you like to talk about it?”</p><p>You shake your head again.</p><p>“That’s alright.”</p><p>Erwin somehow pulls you closer, and you were thankful that he didn’t push the topic. It wasn’t the first time he’d come to your room in the middle of the night, awoken by the sound of your petrified screams, having to calm you down and put you to sleep then leaving before you woke in the morning. You doubted it would be the last, either— he knew, as you’d confided in him, that you were grateful for his steady and calming presence. That he was a buoy that remained steady and balanced in your raging sea of fear, loss, and death.</p><p>“Tell Hange I’m never taking those dumb sleeping pills again.” You mumbled into the fabric of his shirt. “I’d rather be awake and paranoid than sleeping and scared shitless.”</p><p>He lets out a small chuckle, more relieved to hear your sarcasm than anything, and you couldn’t help but smile when the vibrations in his chest push against your cheeks.</p><p>“Alright. But try to get some sleep. Tomorrow you lead the capture of three Underground fugitives.” He says, sparing you another caring glance. “I know how difficult it is for you to go back. You’ll need all your strength.”</p><p>You tense, looking up at him. “But I—“</p><p>“Nothing bad will happen to you. Not tonight in your sleep or tomorrow on the mission. You have my word.”</p><p>There was something so oddly comforting about his presence and authoritative words. Though he spoke like the commander he was preparing to be, offering no apologies and instead giving out orders and empty promises, you couldn’t help but marvel at his silver tongue.</p><p>A warm hand gently tucks your head into the crevice of his neck once more, and you feel his chin rest on the crown of your hair. You close your eyes, body finally relaxing as your heart slowly beats inside your chest. The tears, coupled with the warmth that Erwin seemed to radiate in waves with his gentle hold, brought sleepiness and reassurance to your restless mind.</p><p>“Erwin?”</p><p>He hums.</p><p>“You’re wonderful.”</p><p>Erwin prays to all the gods that would listen that you wouldn’t feel the way his heartbeat speeds up at your sudden praise. Oblivious to the fact that the beating of his heart was the very thing that lulled you to sleep, satisfied and content, unable to hear him as he whispers his promise.</p><p>“I’ll protect you, Y/N. Always.”</p><p>—</p><p>You squinted your eyes, irritatedly tilting your head at the medic in front of you as you clicked your tongue.</p><p>“What do you mean you won’t be treating her?” You asked boredly.</p><p>The medic was— for lack of better word— a complete and utter asshole. Skilled with patching up soldiers and highly competent in a battlefield, you digress, but a complete asshole who only respects people he thinks he could suck up to. Truthfully, you wouldn’t have taken him with you on the mission if Erwin hadn’t insisted because <em>“He’s our top medic, Lieutenant.”</em></p><p>The way he walked and talked rubbed you the wrong way for reasons you could never understand. A tiny voice in your head tells you that yes, you do understand, you just hated remembering why. He refuses to treat anyone he deemed unworthy of his time, yourself included when you’d first joined the regiment. He saw you as nothing more than a money hungry whore, only coming to respect you (quite disdainfully, at that) when you climbed the ranks.</p><p>Your eyes glanced at the three criminals sitting on the wagon. They had their heads bowed down, shoulders slumped, and eyebrows furrowed in distaste as their eyes stared holes into the black cuffs on their wrists.</p><p>The girl— Isabel, as you learned— sat between the two men you captured, and out of the three, she looked to be the worst in terms of wounds. The other two were lightly scraped and dirtied from where they’d been shoved and pushed, but the woman looked terrible. Cuts and bruises littered her cheeks, and dried blood caked at her face and clothes, a trail starting from her misaligned nose and ending at her soaked collar. </p><p>Your gaze lands back on the medic.</p><p>“She’s got a broken nose and possibly a concussion. Are you suggesting I let her bleed out on the ride back to base?”</p><p>“You gave her those injuries. It’s your own damn fault if she bleeds out.” He scoffs. “I’m not cleaning up after your mess.”</p><p>“I offered to clean her up but you refused to give me the supplies. Why?”</p><p>He sighs, clearly irritated by the conversation. You pay his high and mighty attitude no mind as he starts explaining his reasons condescendingly, almost as if he were talking to a child.</p><p>“I’m the medic. I’m the only one authorized to dispatch medical supplies. These—“ He raises a brown satchel. “—are those supplies. They’re expensive and hard to attain because of shitty budget cuts. I refuse to use good supplies on a bunch of low-life criminals.”</p><p>You remain quiet, eyebrows scrunched and hands on either side of your hips.</p><p>“You may be the Lieutenant but this is an unofficial expedition. Your rank means squat to me.” He murmurs as he sets the satchel down. “Besides, we were ordered to treat soldiers, not filthy Underground scum.” </p><p>He begins to walk away. His next words, you assume, were supposed to be heard by only him. Thinking out loud, if you will. Unfortunately for the medic, you heard him loud and clear as he whispered under his breath.</p><p>“Figures. The sewer rat’s protective of the other rats.”</p><p>A hand suddenly grabs at his collar and pulls him backwards, and he stumbles on his feet. A pathetic squeak escapes his lips as he’s turned around, angry and panicked eyes meeting your icy stare. </p><p>“Get your hands off me!” He yells, fingers clawing at your fist gripping his shirt.</p><p>“You really have no respect for people who aren’t above you, do you?”</p><p>“I beg your pardon—“</p><p>“Regardless of whether or not we’re on an official expedition, I can still punish you for insubordination.” Your grip tightens. “Do you want to sleep in the basement, soldier? Is that it? You want to sleep in the basement with the rats you seem so fond of talking about?”</p><p>“Is that a threat?”</p><p>“No. But it’s not a lie either.”</p><p>He scowls. “Are you fucking serious?!”</p><p>“Do I look like I’m joking?” You click your tongue in irritation. “Unless you want me to do good on my word, clean her up and give her medical attention.”</p><p>“She’s not even a soldier. As far as I’m concerned, I don’t owe her shit.”</p><p>“We recruited them, they’re soldiers now. And you <em>will</em> treat and respect them as such.” You sneered, ignoring the way his glare hardens. “Am I clear?”</p><p>A moment passes by in silence, the medic clearly not fond of being spoken to and handled so roughly. In front of his peers, nonetheless. He glances around the silent crowd, and his ears turn beet red when he realizes they’d been watching the entire time.</p><p>Finally, he concedes. “Yes, Lieutenant. Crystal clear.”</p><p>“Good.” You release your grip, setting the medic down. </p><p>He breathes a sigh through gritted teeth. He could feel your eyes staring him down as he haughtily fixes his collar and jacket, fully aware that you weren’t the only one watching his every movement. Once you saw him approach Isabel and pull out bandages from the brown satchel he so proudly flaunted— all the while mumbling curses under his breath, no doubt— you look away, satisfied.</p><p>Erwin approaches you silently. Two horses trailed beside him, one of which you recognized to be yours. He held the horses’ reins in one hand and a brown jug of water in the other. </p><p>“I can overlook your manhandling of our captive,” he starts. “But I can’t overlook your manhandling of our medic. We’ll discuss punishment when we get back to base.” </p><p>Well, you definitely knew this was coming at least.</p><p>You nod. “Understood, sir.”</p><p>He hands you the jug of water, a quick ‘thank you’ escaping your lips before they meet with the opening of the brown leather as you take a drink.</p><p>“Have they had any yet?” You ask after a gulp, gesturing to the thugs sitting in the wagon. </p><p>“I don’t believe so. Give them some, if you wish.” Erwin replies, handing you your horse’s reins. When you glance back at him he’s hoisting himself up on his steed, head craning down to look at you as he speaks. “But do it quickly. Get into formation, we’re about to depart.”</p><p>Once you nod again and give him a salute, Erwin lightly kicks his horse and turns away, ordering the other soldiers to get on their rides as well. You make your way to the wagon, one hand on the reins and the other holding the jug.</p><p>“Hey.” You call out.</p><p>The thugs’ heads snap to you. The glares on their faces were expected, and probably still not amused about their rare defeat. The medic had left just before you arrived, tossing you a look of displeasure when he passed you by. Your eyes linger a bit longer on the condition of Isabel’s face, and you were glad to see that she was cleaned and bandaged properly.  Even if he did rub you the wrong way there was no denying the medic’s skill and quick work. </p><p>You held out the jug of water, gesturing for them to take it. Yet all they did was eye both you and your outstretched hand suspiciously, and you concluded that more likely than not they thought it was poisoned. </p><p>“It’s just water.” You reassured, placing it on the seat in front of them. They weren’t taking it any time soon— not with you here, at least. “I drank from it. If I drop dead during the trip then you can dance on my grave for being allergic to water.”</p><p>A low grunt escapes your lips as you hoist yourself on your horse, giving the three of them one last glance as you gripped the reins.</p><p>“Listen, we’re not the Military Police.” You spoke. “You don’t have to trust us but at least try to eat and drink.”</p><p>“And if we don’t?” Farlan asks defiantly.</p><p>Memories briefly rush through your mind. Of Mike and Nanaba holding down your arms and legs while Hange gripped your face steady, forcing open your mouth so Erwin could shove food down your throat— almost choking you each time— to keep you from starving out during your hunger strike. </p><p>You fingers twitch. </p><p>“Then starve.”</p><p>With that, you pulled at the reins and trotted away. You heard handcuffs clinking and their voices speaking in hushed whispers as you furthered, the recruits undoubtedly getting into an argument whether or not to trust your words. Or making fun of you, if Isabel’s mocking tone, something you could hear even at this distance, was anything to go by.</p><p>You got into your position beside the wagon, glimpsing to the opposite side where Mike’s horse was situated. He gives you a small nod, one which you return it with a nod of your own. The other soldiers’ horses neighed and trotted behind you as you all gripped the reins, whipping them with a quick <em>‘hya!’</em> as Erwin— whose steed was at the very front— signaled to depart.</p><p>The cavalry took off. Hooves beat down onto the cobblestone roads of Wall Sina. The sun was still high up as you rode back to base, and you knew that you’d be back before dark. But that didn’t mean you looked forward to it; if anything, you were dreading it.</p><p>A meeting would be held between the high ranking officers to debate the integration of the three captives into the workforce. Though you promised Erwin to help fight tooth and nail to get it approved, you weren’t entirely sure how. It would be difficult to convince them. The brass heavily looked down on citizens of the Underground, something you learned the hard way during your first few months as a soldier. </p><p>Yet, you couldn’t help but be a tad bit optimistic. With the words of a Lieutenant and a Commander-to-be, two high ranking officials in the military mutually agreeing to the same thing, perhaps they’d be a little more lenient. You and Erwin are, after all, some of the most brilliant minds and trusted leaders the Survey Corps has ever seen. Surely, they’d take your word for it. </p><p>Right?</p><p>“Quite frankly, this is humiliating!” Flagon yelled, slamming his fists onto the mahogany table. The other high ranking officers flinch in their seats.</p><p>“Are you honestly telling us, who have always held formality in high regard, to accept a bunch of criminals?” He continues on. “Our men’s morale will be tainted if we allow those Underground scum to join the ranks.”</p><p>You sighed heavily, pinching the bridge of your nose as you leaned back in your chair.</p><p>Okay. Fuck. Maybe not.</p><p>Voices overlapped over one another as soldiers once again piped in their opinions about the matter at hand. You and Erwin continued to stay silent, as you had been for the majority of the meeting to avoid saying the wrong thing, watching them argue in front of the Commander. Truth be told, they were doing your job for you by making themselves look bad. Perhaps you still had a shot at recruiting the thugs you’ve captured. Maybe all your hard work wasn’t for naught.</p><p>The atmosphere grows heavier with each opinion spoken, and your eye catches Erwin’s stare. He gives you a knowing look.</p><p>
  <em>It’s finally time.</em>
</p><p>“If I may interject,” The blonde spoke loudly, and immediately all bickering stopped. His ability to command respect even from those above him never ceased to amaze you. “I believe recruiting them would be more than beneficial to our cause. Myself, Section Commander Mike Zacharius, and Lieutenant Y/N L/N have seen them in action first hand. I believe I speak on behalf of these people when I say we can personally vouch for their skills with ODM gear.</p><p>“It took six elite soldiers to lure them out, and three high ranking veterans to capture them.” He continues on. “This in and of itself is already an impressive feat, keeping in mind that these criminals claim to not have any formal military training.”</p><p>At this, Commander Shadis perks up. “No formal military training, you say?” He clarifies, and Erwin simply nods. “And it took three veterans to out-maneuver these criminals?”</p><p>“Yes. Along with the Lieutenant’s intricate planning and execution of the mission.”</p><p>The Commander nods, one hand on his chin in thought. You and Erwin share another look. So far, everything was going well; the Commander seemed interested in integrating the thugs you’d picked up, but you couldn’t relax just yet. You still needed verbal confirmation.</p><p>“This is madness!” Flagon yelled, snapping the Commander from his thoughts.</p><p>Mother<em>fucking</em> Flagon. </p><p>“Not only are you suggesting we let three blackmarket high rollers into our workforce, you’re also suggesting we take them on the next expedition.” He rushes. “We don’t have the time nor the resources to train them. They’ll be nothing more than casualties wheeled back in body bags from war.”</p><p>“We’ll be able to train them with the limited time and resources we have.” You say confidently, and all eyes snap to your direction. Though you don’t wield the same amount of respect in the room as Erwin does, you know you had just enough to keep their attention. “We’ve lost plenty of good soldiers in our last expedition, and we won’t be expecting any new recruits until next spring. Our budget won’t suffer too harshly having to feed and house three additional people.”</p><p>“You’re confident they’ll comply with the Survey Corps’ ideals and survive outside the walls with little formal training then?” Commander Shadis asks.</p><p><em>No</em>. You wanted to say no. As skilled as they were, the titans were different. Outside the walls was nothing compared to running around dimly lit alleyways. Yet the second you made eye contact with Erwin across the table, him giving you a look to continue on, you knew you had to grit your teeth and lie. Whatever his alternative plan might be— you’re positive he had one— it better be goddamn worth it. </p><p>“Yes.” You speak. “Assign them to my squad. I will personally see to it that they’re beaten into shape. If your main concern is their reliability, then rest assured it will be beaten into their heads as well.”</p><p>“And you’re willing to gamble three human lives on this, Lieutenant?”</p><p><em>No</em>. “Yes.”</p><p>He holds your stare for a few moments, and you mentally pray to whatever gods existed that he wouldn’t see through your lies. And that Erwin knew what he was doing. Moreso the latter.</p><p>“Very well.” The Commander finally says, and you let out a small sigh in relief. “The new recruits will be under your care until we can find them permanent squadrons.”</p><p>He turns to look at you. “Fetch them and bring them to the courtyard in half an hour. Proper introductions to the rest of the regiment are in order.”</p><p>You nod. “Yes, sir.”</p><p>“But, Commander—“ Flagon stutters out, yet he’s cut off when the man in question speaks.</p><p>“My decision is final.” He says firmly, glancing around the small room. When he notices no one has more to say, he stands up. “This meeting is adjourned.”</p><p>The soldiers around the table stand up as well, bringing their fists over their hearts in a salute.</p><p>“Yes, Commander.” You all chorused, and Commander Shadis simply nods in acknowledgment as he walks out the door.</p><p>Once the Commander disappears into the hallway and the door shuts with a satisfying click, Flagon immediately drops his salute in favor of glaring at you.</p><p>“Congratulations, <em>Lieutenant</em>.” The title mockingly rolls off his lips. “You just murdered three civilians.”</p><p>The other soldiers paid him no mind as they themselves began to gather their belongings, jackets and capes swung across their arms as they exited the room. Flagon trailing behind them, not sparing you another glance as he shuts the door, leaving you behind.</p><p>You turned to Erwin.</p><p>“Tell me I didn’t just stick my neck out for nothing.” You pleaded, slowly sinking back to your seat. </p><p>“You didn’t.” He reassures. “That was a job well done.”</p><p>You sigh in relief. “Am I correct in assuming you have another asterisk to this plan?”</p><p>“Perhaps.”</p><p>“Thank god.” You groaned. Erwin shoots you a small smile as he stands up and slowly makes his way to the door, and you follow suit. He opens the door before shutting it behind you as you made quiet conversation, walking side by side down the empty hallway.</p><p>“Thank you for trusting me blindly.” He starts, and you nod in acknowledgement. “Though I must confess, I need one more favor from you.”</p><p>You turned to look at him. “What is it?”</p><p>“I need you to gain their trust. Find out about our new comrades’ plans and predict their next move as you did in the Underground.” He says. “Keep your document on your person at all times and confirm if Lobov is behind this hit.”</p><p>You already knew Lord Lobov was the man responsible for the hit on your life. But you knew Erwin meant evidence— hard physical evidence you could show in court. That was trickier to attain.</p><p>“Remain quiet and discreet about this operation. Do not rouse suspicion; not the brass, not to our comrades, not to anyone.”</p><p>“Sure, that’s easy enough.” You say casually. “Would you like me to get you the moon and the stars as well? Perhaps world peace and freedom for all while I’m at it.”</p><p>“Y/N.” He says warningly. He used your name; he was worried. </p><p>You give him a small teasing smile, shaking your head before your features shift to a look of reassurance and determination.</p><p>“I’ll get it done, you know I always do. Don’t worry about it, blondie.” </p><p>You both turn the corner, and suddenly, you tense. A cold chill runs up your spine; a glance and Erwin confirms that he must’ve felt it as well. </p><p>With narrowed eyes you spot your would-be assassins, now clad in the standard issue Survey Corps uniform, walking towards you. You couldn’t help the goosebumps that formed on your skin when you made eye contact with the raven haired man you’d known to be their leader. Bored eyes stared into his gunmetal ones, glaring you down as you passed each other by. </p><p>Though the interaction lasted no more than half a second, the brief stare down you shared with Levi was enough to ignite a silent agreement between you and Erwin. You couldn’t help but remember your dead lover’s words, ones he’d always include in his letters, when you were back in the Underground brothel and selling your body to feed your little sister and keep a roof above your head. </p><p>
  <em>Watch each other’s backs. Don’t trust anyone.</em>
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